Thursday, June 17th, 2010 - Segerstrom’s Class of 2010 Graduation - It was the day where I was supposed be called up on stage to pick up my diploma, throw my cap in the air, take pictures with my family and friends, celebrate and feel accomplished for all my hard work in the past 12 years. Unfortunately, I was sitting in the stadium with my classmates’ family members, hearing all my friends’ name being called, and feeling mixed emotions between disappointment in myself, yet happy for all the graduates.

A few days before Segerstrom’s Graduation, I was at Knott’s Berry Farm celebrating with my classmates. As my friends and I were leaving Knott’s Berry Farm, I received a phone call from the Assistant Principal, Ms. Callaway, informing me that I will not be walking at the ceremony because I have failed a class. I was told that they have already contacted my family members and explained to them my situation. When the phone conversation ended, I was speechless throughout the entire day. My friends noticed and kept asking me what happened, but I didn’t want them to worry so I said nothing even though I was hurting inside. When my friends dropped me off at school, I was too afraid to go home and see eye to eye with my parents so I decided to walk to South Coast Plaza. I mean, what am I supposed to say them? I was supposed to be the first child that walks at a high school graduation and make everyone proud. (My two older brother couldn’t walk at their graduations either. In addition, my mother was going through with cancer. All she wanted was to see me walk.)

As I was walking around South Coast Plaza/Metro Pointe, I kept crying nonstop. I remember I had a thought of going to the bridge (405 Freeway on Bristol) and jumping off so I wouldn’t have to face anyone - that’s how afraid I was to see my family members. “sighs” But, I realized that it would  have just make things more difficult so I didn’t (well, obviously because I am still alive lol). Anyway, I felt really exhausted so I decided to walk home and accept my fate. When I got home, I immediately walked straight into my room to sleep. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. When I woke up, I overheard my parents talking about me. They were disappointed that I didn’t walk, but they said it was good thing. They said that everyone needs to fall at least once in their lifetime. (Please understand that even though I was a big trouble maker in middle school and high school, I was always “protected” by the administrators. I got away with everything. I supposed even they couldn’t have helped me with walking at graduation). This was the first time in my life that I hit “rock bottom”.

(Time Skip) - After working hard for 2 months, I eventually received my high school diploma from Segerstrom High School. :)

“sighs” It has been 3 years since that tragic day. Right now, I am just thinking of my past and future. I remember how motivated I was at the beginning of my college career. I earned a 4.0 my first semester at OCC. I was appointed as the Spirit/Social Chair in CKI. I had dreams of transferring to UCLA in 2 years and major in Communication Studies. I don’t know what happened, but I began to lost motivation in school and stopped caring. I suppose I was more focused with developing myself as an individual and improve on my passion for communication my own way since I didn’t think I could learn anything in class. (I became more involved in CKI, joined Student Government and participated in Cheer) I wanted to learn things that school couldn’t teach me such as learning how to communicate with different types of people or how to monitor my thoughts or controlling my emotions.

I know I have said this over and over again for the past few years, but right now I am more motivated than ever to transfer out of Orange Coast College. I know who I am, I know what I want, and I know how to get there. I just want to move forward with my life, stop wasting valuable time, and pursue that higher education so that I can improve on my life and the lives of other people.

I am going to finish what I started.

Good night!

• Pancake breakfast with Cypress Kiwanis 
• Aha, it feels good to do service again. 
• Knocked out for a good 5 hours. :’) 
• There was nothing to do at home, so I decided to go to Barnes and Noble to read. 
• As of lately, all I want to do is read, write, and learn. I know it’s summer, but I’m so bored. I feel I’m stuck. It’s not fun when you’re not learning anything new, yaknows?
• It took a while, but I decided to read a comic book: Superman: Earth One. Man of Steel is coming out next week! :)
• Then, I had this urge to go to watch a movie. I know some people may think it’s weird to go to the movies and watch it by yourself, but I really enjoy watching movies by myself. It feels good to be alone, yaknows? 
• I bought a ticket to go watch The Purge. It was a waste of time… 
• Movie hopped to Hangover 3. Even though I only saw the last 15 minutes of the movie, I thought the ending was really weak and stupid compared to the previous two. 
• Hm I didn’t want to go home just yet, so I decided to movie hop again to Now You See Me. Aha oh my goodness! I love the movie so much. I would say it’s my favorite movie thus far. <3 
• After the movie, I walked home from Metro Pointe. The entire time I was thinking about my personal statements.
• “sighs” good night! :)